By no means do i consider myself a poet as a dyslexic putting my thoughts into words has always been very chalanging for me. But I have always loved reading poety and relating to the underliing feelings behind them. I have taken a few poetry classes in college but found the instructers wanting the interpitaion of a poem to be that of the scholars and not that of the reader. Now I look at poetry to be interpiteded by the reader and the only real meaing outside of the writers own thought is relative. By all means isnt a poem an abstarct of someons elses perseption on something? Well if it is then what those words relate to in each of us can be different.
So I would like to share the 1st poem I have writen in well over 10 years with the group and get some feedback on how to improve...
Paradox of our rendition
We are the equivalent distinguishable acts of repetition
Shadowing auras of our own perception
Yet condemning familiarly obscure circles denied in ourselves
All for validation of our own fears
Beloved let go the apprehensiveness
Live with your heart
Give until thy have no more
Then you will know true happiness
This has good use of language and philosophical ideas. The only part I would actually change is the use of old-style English at the end, to get the grammar right, also because you switch the idiom from modern English to old, it would be good to put it in italics, or speech marks - see below:
"Live with thine heart
Give until thou hast no more"
- Then you will know true happiness.
(or to carry on in the same style, "Then shalt thou know true happiness")
Or simply keep it all in modern English. To get more of an idea of all the "thees and thous", read a Shakespeare sonnet or two, to see how it is all used, it's fascinating to find out more about how the Elizabethans used to speak.
One SONG can spark a momentOne FLOWER can wake the dreamOne TREE can start a forestOne BIRD can herald springOne SMILE begins a friendshipOne HANDCLASP lifts a soulOne STAR can guide a ship at seaOne…Continue
By no means do i consider myself a poet as a dyslexic putting my thoughts into words has always been very chalanging for me. But I have always loved reading poety and relating to the underliing…Continue
Started by reefls. Last reply by reefls Jan 12, 2008.
Night of the Sleeping LivingFrom the darkness of the night, when voices are silenced,when souls silently weep their sorrowsand drunk with sun-light let minds restas bodies lie wrapped up, embracing…Continue
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